✨ The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics (Feminine Pursuits, #1) by Olivia Waite

“We thought we were separate satellites, but we aren’t. We’re stars, and though we might burn separately, we’ll always be in one another’s orbit.”

I really loved this a lot! I especially loved all the different kinds of reclaiming in this story! Maybe all it took for me to fall in love with a historical romance was sapphics in STEM (and art)! Who would have guessed? :]

This was so feminist, so queer, so healing, and so beautiful. And I loved hearing these girls talk unapologetically about how so many other women’s ideas have been taken all throughout history by men who then take the credit, too.

Trigger and Content Warnings: domestic abuse in the past, sexism, misogyny, talk of colonization, and talk of loss of a loved one in past.

✨ Dragon Unleashed (Fallen Empire, #2) by Grace Draven 

1.) Phoenix Unbound ★★★★

“What must it be like to be loved this way? So devotedly that the person you parted with cried at your absence before you even left?”

Oh friends, this was such a disappointment for me, especially after loving the first book in this series, Phoenix Unbound, so much! Dragon Unleashed does read as a stand alone, and in this world magic is outlawed! That is why it is so important for our main character, Halani, to hide that she has earth magic, especially since it helps her family who are traveling traders. Yet, when her uncle finds a bone that she can tell will bring nothing but pain to them, he refuses to listen. And that bone happens to be a dragon bone that our other main character, Malachus, needs because the magic holding his dragon-self inside this human form is quickly waning.

Action and romance ensue, well, they ensue extremely slowly over these 400 pages. I was highly anticipating this one, and I always feel like good fantasy romance is hard to find, but I have enjoyed everything by Grace Draven in the past! But I just felt such a disconnect from this book for so many reasons (so much miscommunication, very questionable disability representation, the most long-winded banter), but also because it truly was so very boring for the first 90%.

Trigger and Content Warnings: talk of assault (unwanted touching), torture, violence, gore, blood depiction, captivity, kidnapping, mention of slavery, ableism (in a negative light), and talk of rape in the past.

✨ Ice Planet Barbarians (Ice Planet Barbarians #1) by Ruby Dixon

“It wasn’t a monster come to eat me. It was this monster. Who’s come to eat me out.”

Let me start out this mini review by saying that I had less than 48 hours on my audible escape membership and the hype was real, okay? Basically, our main character, Georgie, wakes up and doesn’t know where she is, but she quickly learns that she has been abducted by aliens who are planning to sell her and a lot of other girls. Only one of them has a translating device attached to her, and basically you have to be quiet or else. Well, one of the newly abducted girls are not quiet and they quickly see what horrible things will happen at the hands of the captors. But the spaceship quickly is forced to land on some other planet and they are forced to wait for more aliens to come help them out, but the girls take this advantage to plan an escape.

And Georgie, being the brave and slightly horny character she is, decides to go looking for other life who hopefully aren’t kidnappers and rapists. And what better way to get to know a blue alien that reminds me heavily of male draenei in World of Warcraft than to have him go down on you for a little bit, even though you all can’t understand each other. And together they try to prove that you don’t need to speak the same language to try to help your friends and have lots of good sex along the way back to the abandoned spaceship.

Listen, this was a mess and I don’t get the hype, but to each their own, truly. 2010 Melanie was reading some real questionable shit, so you all do you and I support it. But 2020 Melanie just can’t read about the “you’re my mate now” storylines with a straight face, especially when they are with blue people who can’t even understand each other in the midst some some really traumatic shit going on. Especially when that magical bond (and more magical sex) saves lives.

I’m giving this two stars because it wasn’t offensive, I enjoyed trying to see them communicate with each other, and this audiobook made me laugh so hard it was a bit unreal (the rock sex is 100% going to stick with me for a while). Truly the hidden serotonin boost.

Trigger and Content Warnings: abduction, sex trafficking, drugging, rape, murder, gore, violence, and death.

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